Pain isn't bad...it just hurts!

This blog is a re-post of something I wrote over 2 years ago, but it still applies, and when I came across it, it was a great reminder, and proof of how God is still using my pain and past to work in my heart and life, ultimately to bring glory to him. How awesome!

  Someone very wise once told me "Pain is not bad, it just hurts." My first thought was, yeah..no kidding it hurts! But I didn't listen to the first part..."Pain is not Bad." I have a past that I'm neither proud of, nor speak often of, and yet, its something that plays a major role in my life. The pain that has come from this, has left me feeling hurt, broken, fearful, confused, guilty, upset, and even at times angry. For the longest time, I have HATED the pain I held inside, that only a few close people knew about. Along with wishing the pain wasn't there, I also had recently, and by recently I mean the past few years, have been trying to weed it all out. To be released from its hold..Satan's hold, and move through it, coming out as purified gold.
  More Recently, I have finally started to understand the first part of that quote, that is so near to my heart..."Pain is not bad." To me, it means that all those feeling that come from the pain, the fear, the hurt, the confusion, the bitterness..that's all okay. My God has taken care of it. And not only has he taken care of it, but hes made a beautiful story from a broken life. A story that is meant to be told, a story of hope, and love. A story, that will hopefully help someone else.
  I am aware that I am not the only case of this. There are many of you who have a story. Or maybe God is in the process of writing your story. Maybe its a painful one, like mine. Or maybe its one of many blessings, whatever it is, its beautiful and perfect in Gods gracious eyes. He gave us our stories to help others, not to lock them away and never reveal them again.
 
  Maybe this is difficult for you. Maybe you feel like you aren't sure where to begin. Maybe whats holding you back, is you feel like your too weak. You know what..God works best in weakness! In the 2 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about how he had a "thorn in the flesh" and when he asked God to remove it, God said " My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." Paul got the message, and said " So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me."
You may feel like your story doesn't have much to give, but what you do have, may be exactly what someone else is desperately searching for. Be bold in Christ! That is my goal for this year. To be able to share my story, with those around me, who are going through what I did and needs an understanding friend. I encourage you to do the same!

"That's why I take pleasure in my weakness, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong"
-2 Corinthians 12: 10

The Maasai

  There is a tribe in Africa called the Maasai. Trying their hardest to resist modern influences, they move from place to place along the countryside of Kenya, depending on their needs. In order to protect themselves from predators, they surround their villages with bushes of thorns.

   Many of you know that I have a tattoo on my wrist of a broken heart with a crown of thorns holding it together, with the word "Love" down the side. I haven't shared with a lot of people what exactly that means to me, and I don't plan to share everything here on my blog for the whole world to see. But the basic idea of the tattoo is to  symbolize "Healer of the broken." God has worked so much in my life, and if you've ever heard any part of my story, it is clear the only way I have been able to get through, is simply by the grace of God. And my tattoo is a reminder to me, that God is my healer, and always will be.

   A long time ago, I decided that there was no way I was going to be able to hold all the pieces of my broken heart together, I needed God's help. I distinctly remember one night, I was completely broken, and I had no idea how I could ever be "okay" again. I spent the whole night at the feet of my God, desperate, and hurt. That night, I decided I wasn't going to pick up my heart anymore. There was no reason for it. God was right there, trying to hold it together, but I just wouldn't let him. He layed on my heart Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." and with that verse, he reminded me that He never promised to remove me from all human experience, including hurt, but for those who have a personal relationship with him, the only difficulty I will experience is here on this earth and what is 80 years of pain, in comparison to glory for eternity? Acts 14:22 states "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God".

  Looking back, and still learning to apply it, I am thankful that I get to go through hardships, because when I do, it always seems to bring me so much closer to God. If he delivered me from every ounce of trial, I would never be able to develop the relationship that occurs when God shows himself faithful right in the midst of difficulty, helping me through it.

 Recently, my tattoo has started to mean more to me.  Just like the Maasai people keep bushes of thorns around their villages, God keeps my heart safe by encircling my heart with a crown of thorns. Not only is he holding my heart together, but he is also protecting it with the same crown. Any pain my heart feels, he feels first, and has allowed it to pass through, to ultimately draw me closer to him and to grow me in my walk of faith. How awesome is that!

"As the mountains surround Jerusalem, the Lord surrounds his people now and forever." ~Psalm 125:2