Love with actions and in truth

      I really do want to thank all of you who have been praying and sending us encouraging messages. They truly mean the world to us right now. We have not had time to sit down and process everything individually or as a couple, since, literally we were pulling into the driveway to a house we were providing relief for, and we have been with the kids ever since. We had about a half hour to cry our eyes out, and then we quickly had to change into houseparent mode. So as you continue to pray, pray that we will be able to have time to process it all, so we may begin the healing process.

   The night after we had found out the bad news, I could not sleep. I spent most of the time sobbing and trying to find the words to say to God. After a few hours, I eventually told him I was really upset with him. I felt like he was really calling me to trust him, and he would give me the desires of my heart when we started the whole process. So I did, even though I wanted to protect my heart, I completely trusted him. And then when we got the phone call, saying it didn' work, I felt so abandoned by Him. I told him, he knows how hard it is for me to trust, and then I felt like he just forgot about me, or was playing an awful trick on me. I told him I didn't even know if he was listening to me anymore. I hate feeling upset with God. On top of all the heart ache, the last thing I need is to be distant from Him. But nevertheless, I was heartbroken. I asked him to please, give me some sort of a sign that he was there, and listening, and frankly, still cared about me and loved me.

   Eventually, from complete exhaustion I fell asleep. The next day, we had a graduation party to attend, and I wasn't exactly my chipper self. Jeremy had met a guy at the party, and began to talk to him. Pretty quickly, he and his wife began asking us about our marriage, and about our job and other things in our life, that typically people don't ask about the first time they meet you. Then towards the end of our conversation, they asked us what they could be praying for us for. I was completely taken back by this, and I began to get choked up. These people were complete strangers, and they were actually caring enough about us, to ask specifically what they could pray for us for. I was on the verge of crying (and if you know me, I'm not a crier, and I don't like crying in front of people) so I told Jeremy he could answer for me.

  Jeremy told them, about our struggle the day before and finding out IVF didn't work for us. I completely lost it and started balling. In that same second, they got up and asked us to come pray with them. They prayed with us, and talked with both of us for a while, and it was just a huge blessing and encouragement to us.

  That night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I realized something. That was the sign from God that I had been praying for. I asked him to let me know he still loved and cared for me, and the very next day, he sends along a couple, who we've never met before who showed us love and cared about us! I cannot begin to tell you how comforting it is to know, when you are completely broken, and you just pour out all your feelings to Him, even the upset and bitter ones, that He will answer and show you He is still there. I am so thankful for such an understanding and loving God. Really, if it wasn't for Him, there is no way I would be getting through day-to-day.

  That couple really was "Jesus" to us. They showed us the love of Christ. I am so thankful for their kind hearts, and their compassion for others. It has just spoke so much volume to my heart, and seeing that pushes me to want to be more and more like Jesus. They really did just carry us to the cross, when we were too weak to do so ourselves, so we could begin to lay all of our burdens at his feet.

  I tell you all this, to maybe encourage you to do the same for someone you may or may not know. You can be "Jesus" to those around you. There is always someone hurting, and needing to feel cared about, and if you have the light of Christ in you, you have the exact remedy they need.

1 John 3:17 "Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."